Unlike Dwight, I find I seldom blog about my autistic sons, Sam and Jonah. Maybe it's that I subconsciously think that women who blog about personal things aren't taken as seriously as our male counterparts. Or maybe it's just that it's difficult to describe as almost mundane what most others consider to be a horrible tragedy. Not that life in the Brunner-Willliams house is not at times chaotic, but it seldom is truly tragic, at least not in regards to our children. To be honest, three years of a completely depressed tech employment sector has been more discouraging than dealing with the day-to-day challenges of autistic four and six year olds.
One of the reasons I loved to read Dwight in his previous incarnation at PLA, was he made sense of it all, and put the existence of POA (Parents of Autistics) in proper perspective. He continues to do that here, but having to elbow in for time and space takes its toll.
Last year, I found another POA blogger, now post-partum fourth-time mom, Squid. Recently, I was surprised to find a link on Squid's sidebar that also graced my dear online and real-life friend, Israeli-American blogger Allison Kaplan Sommer. I clicked on the link and was transported into a world I didn't know existed in the blogosphere; Infertility blogs.
As the mother of five, I'll admit I've never had a difficult time conceiving. I've had pregnancies which would tax the strength of Hercules and patience of Buddha, with hyperemesis which required months of IV therapy (Charlotte Bronte, btw, died from morning sickness), pre-eclampsia and preterm labor. Months (19 months, to be exact) spent on bedrest. But after each episode, I had the reward of a beautiful babe in arms.
So what would draw me to spend hours reading the trials, tribulations and hopes of these women? Perserverence...and humor. Infertility is not unlike autism in so many ways. Few in the medical community actually understand what causes it, insurance seldom covers the most promising treatments, and women are ultimately blamed for it.
I know that I'm not alone. Today, in the comments of Chez Miscarriage, I found my POA friend, Emily. So that now makes four of us.
I now believe the time I've spent learning the most intricate details of these amazing women's lives will make it easier for me to talk more openly about the challenges, and joys, of parenting special needs children. Which I now hope to do. If I can tear myself away from Grrrl's nailbiting news of a successful surrogate pregnancy.
I also learned a new anacronym. NBHHY. Nothing Bad Has Happened Yet.
With everything going on in our lives, this is truly the case. No run over kids while living on a state highway. No funerals despite the best intentions of hospital staff. NBHHY.