Wampum

Intelsat Americas-7 satellite fried

IA7@129°W footprint

At approximately 2:30 am EST on 28 November, a covert space weapons program dischared a directed energy weapon at Intelsat Americas-7, located at 129° West. The weaponized energy burst manifested to the on-board and earth station sensors as a sudden and unexpected electrical distribution anomaly that caused the permanent loss of the spacecraft.

Speaking via a cell phone from his cell at Camp Anaconda, known to its denizens as "Mortaritaville", ex-Dictator-for-Life Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti announced the success of the Iraqi directed energy WMD program, which managed to discharge a weapon located at 33°20 N 44° 26 E, and strike a target located at 129°00 W 0°00 N, a distance of 16,250km (Haversine formula) or 12,737km (cord formula) and located an additional 35,785km (22,236 miles) above the surface of the earth. Seismologiests at the USGS in Menlo Park and Directed Energy Weapons (DEW) Program Office (DARPA) analysts at are still reviewing seismic data to determin if the discharge path used ionospheric reflection to a way-point near the Galapagos Islands, before going vertical, or took the shorter "direct-direct" path, the theoretically possible but never demonstrated "Verne manuver".

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the senior Republican political strategist remarked "If the Iraqis managed to pull a Verne, we're in a heap of trouble. Those last 22,000 exoatmospheric miles were an overshoot. When they get our range we'll have operational Iraqi megawatt class lasers under every bed in the Continental United States."

The conference call included synchronized tape-delay segments from Osama Bin Laden in Afganistan, who directed the strategic planning and targeting, and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi from somewhere in al-Anbar Province (Falluja/Ramadi), who directed the Baghdad-based engineering team. Each commented on their roles in carrying out the attack on IA7@129°W, then took questions from the on-call journalists. Saddam Hussein reminded the journalists that Bush, Chenny and Powell hold a monopoly over the most outragous weapons programs claims on the face of the earth, despite the valient defenses of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf ("Baghdad Bob") but those claims of weapons programs related activities are insufficient to meet exoatmospheric, and potentially lithospheric weapons programs claims.

Note Well: In 1997 the Mid-Infrared Advanced Chemical Laser/Sea-Lite Beam Director system combination demonstrated the ability to illuminate satellites in orbit [1].

IA7@129°W carried 24x36 MHz C-band and 24x36 MHz Ku-band transponders providing coverage to CONUS, Alaska, Caribbean, Hawaii, Mexico, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Uplink Frequency C-Band: 5925 to 6425 MHz, Ku-Band: 14.0 to 14.5 GHz
Downlink Frequency C-Band: 3700 to 4200 MHz Ku-Band: 11.7 to 12.2 GHz

[1] "Nautilus - Lasers are Lethal," U.S. Army Space and Missile Defense Command, October 3l, 1998, http://www.smdc.army.mil/NAUT.HTML. "Tactical High Energy Laser (THEL)," U.S. Army Space and Missile Defense Command, October 31, 1998, http://www.smdc.army.mil/THEL.HTML. Additional information is available from TRW Inc. at http://www.trw.com.

Posted by EBW at November 29, 2004 05:31 PM | TrackBack